Who Hid the Crack?
by Electrified by Evil
Summary: A collection of crack-ish one-shots. Naruto, Sasuke, Kakashi, and Sakura are main characters. As usual. T for later stories.


Naruto was bored. So very bored.

And bad things happen when Naruto's bored.

--

A sigh escaped the blonds lips.

"Teme, do something funny."

He didn't even have to face the raven to see the glare that Sasuke was shooting his way. Sakura itched her nose and rolled her eyes when Naruto suddenly jumped up.

"I'm tired of waiting for Kaka-sensei. I have a new challenge for you, Sasuke-teme."

"Dobe. I'm just going to win. Again."

"Oh yeah? We'll see!"

"What is this challenge, Naruto?" Sakura asked, sitting up from her spot on the ground.

"Simple! Whoever can play any instrument better by the end of the week wins!"

Sasuke rolled his eyes but pulled out a sheet of paper. He was used to challenges coming out of the blue and now carried at least two pieces of paper everywhere he went.

"Rules?"

They spent the remaining amount of time thinking up rules. They were still arguing when Kakashi showed up, three hours late.

"YOU'RE LATE!"

--

Rules and Terms of Agreement

_Any instrument is allowed, as long as it was not ever touched before._

_No whistling._

_No singing. No humming._

_It must take only one week. No more no less._

_At the end of the week, we will put on a performance so that the judging isn't biased._

_Sakura and Kakashi are the judges._

_No Bushin. Of any kind. That means you, Naruto._

_No cheating, teme. That means no Sharingan-ing it._

--

Once Kakashi got word of the bet, he gave them the week off. He wanted to see who the winner would be. It would certainly take his mind off the new Icha Icha book coming out next month, anyways.

--

Naruto searched all the music stores in the village. With clones, of course. The bet didn't start till the next day, and it was just to _find _the instrument. They had one night to find whatever one they wanted. Once purchased, it had to be brought right home and not picked up until the next morning.

Naruto gave his choice loads of thought. What instrument would be the most impressive? Which one would impress Sakura the most? He asked the store employee and received a very energetic answer. He learned a little about why it was so pretty but not many people chose it because it was so difficult to learn. He bought that and ten 'how to' books and ran home.

--

Sasuke's attitude about his selection was a little different. He went into the best store and bought the shiniest one there. He put it away as soon as he went home and fell asleep, confident that he would win with his superior skills.

--

The week went by quickly. Naruto was rarely seen. If he was, it was usually a clone, sent to get him more food. Aka ramen. Sasuke was seen a little more, but only because he was completely assured that the dobe would lose.

Kakashi was using his free time to advertise about their competition. The more people the better! Sakura helped, using her super-female-gossiping-system to tell just about everyone. However, there were only a few people that knew what instruments the boys were using. The store owners and the Genin themselves. And the shop keepers were keeping silent.

--

Finally the day came.

Actually, it was evening.

Almost half the village was stuffed into one room. A small stage was put up in the middle so everyone could hear. Chairs were set up. Snacks, drinks, and tickets were sold. Money bets were made on who would win. Odds were leaning towards the Uchiha prodigy.

"Alright! Time to get this show on the road!"

Naruto and Sasuke, clearly used to these crowds, were both standing on the stage. They were facing each other like boxers in a ring; determination in their glares.

"Sasuke is up first!" Kakashi shouted from his spot in the middle of the stage.

"Ladies first, right?" Naruto grinning, watching carefully for Sasuke's reaction. All he got was a Death Glare 2.0.

Sasuke waited for the cheers to quiet down before pulling a saxophone out of it's case. Cheers rose again and he warmed up in ten seconds, just blowing air through it to make sure it was ready.

And then it was silent. Sasuke had the full attention of the room.

Just like he liked it.

His fingers flew over the keys, pressing them down or letting them go in accordance with the song. He memorized every single note and rest of the five page song. He played loud and clear, each note sounding near perfect to the ears in the room. He took breaths that lasted only half a second so that the beat wouldn't be lost. The crowds loved it.

Kakashi was raking in the dough.

It lasted another couple of minutes before he ended his sax solo on a sharp beat. He dropped his hand and let the golden thing rest on its strap around his neck. He shoved his hands into his pockets and gazed out into the crowd to see what they would do.

"I bet he's going to win"

"He better. I have four hundred on him."

"He's Sasuke-kun. Of course he's going to beat his opponent."

"Uchiha Sasuke is the best."

He smiled once to Sakura, who was the judge and would _love _that, and stepped down. Naruto yawned as he stood up.

"That was it?" the blond drawled, infuriating the raven more than he would care to admit.

Again the crowd was silent. No one knew what the hell Naruto was going to pull out of his ass. They weren't expecting what he pulled out of his case with no fancy flourishes.

His instrument was made of wood, dark and cherry colored. It was small and lightweight, the neck skinny while the other end was curved about in an odd 3-D oval shape.

"…Violin?" someone whispered to themselves.

--

In a corner, a white haired man was scribbling away at a notepad, eyes flicking up now and then to watch. His mouth was curved into a perverted smile.

--

Naruto warmed up by running the bow across the string once or twice normally to test how in tune it was. The audience was silent, waiting for him to play. Since his warm-up noises were screechy, they figured that he was bad.

--

Naruto wasn't even paying attention to the crowd at this point. He set the violin against his shoulder and under his chin, focusing instead on the inside of his eyelids. He kept his eyes closed as he gently set the violin bow against the instrument. And he began to play.

--

The intensity of the sounds astounded people. Naruto was playing the saddest sounds anyone had ever heard, and he played the song perfectly. The notes were loud and wailing, their energy reaching deep into their hearts. It was like ecstasy in their ears.

--

Needless to say, Naruto won. He got a standing ovation, and there wasn't a dry eye in the house (Sasuke had left halfway through the first song). Naruto played four more songs, each one different in their own way. They all sounded amazing, even if they were agonizingly slow or speedy fast.

His fingers flew over the instrument, playing with such skill it made them wonder how they never heard him play before. His skill was matched by no one.

* * *

**The end?**

**Yeah, I know it's crackish. I kinda wanted it to be an actual one shot, but then I just read it over after typing it and then started laughing. How is this NOT crack? Even just a little bit. Haha.**

**Anyways, here it is. Stupid and funny.**

**I play the sax, but in concert band when I was in high school I always loved that class. Even though I said I hated it, it was so fun. You could play it out and it took so much hard work, but at the concerts we all really worked together and managed to sound so good. And in every song beats a heart.**

_Caught in the moment_

_Excitement mounting_

_Adrenaline coursing_

_Suddenly it slows,_

_Flowing smoothly_

_The sounds flow and ebb_

_Streaming steadily through your soul_

**I can never get the words to describe the feeling when you play an amazing part. Your heart just feels so… alive. Listening to music, yes, but when you really know the piece and you play it out after so much repetition, nothing is more beautiful.**

**I'm going to stop the authors note before it's longer than the story now…**

**See you!**


End file.
